He emphatically refused to tell his wife that he was her friend no matter what. He said that if he told her that, she would take advantage of him again. He thought that taking divorce off the table meant giving up leverage.
For some people, divorce means leverage. A man can make certain demands with the threat of divorce, and his wife must comply.
Ironically, this brings instability to the marriage, and it limits the depth of the relationship. Now she has the law over her head, and she must be careful not to break it, or things could fall apart. There are some things she would like to discuss and some secrets she would like to confess, but she must not open up too much, or she could lose her marriage.
Under the law of faith, love gives leverage. A man tells his wife that he loves her without conditions, and nothing will stand between them. This releases his wife from bondage to the law, so that she can be herself more freely. She can be more open and honest. She can tell him things without the danger of rejection.
He looks beyond her faults and into her soul, and eventually over a period of time, he comes to know her more deeply. At some point they connect, and at that moment, all the problems fall away.
Love has leverage. When a man shows his wife the steady unwavering love of Christ, it actually gives him leverage. By showing her that she matters to him more than a list of rules, she is much more likely to abide by a reasonable list of rules. The relationship takes priority over the rules.
Ironically, if William had loved his wife as Christ loves us, he would have had more influence on her behavior. Christ’s love would have provided a stability to Gina’s life that she never knew, and by spending time with her and listening to her, she would more readily have listened. If he had made love the priority over the rules, as God commanded him to do, he would have had the rules as well.
