| Reconciliation is even simpler now than it was at the beginning of the chapter. If you truly desire it, you do whatever it takes to get it. You see, the method doesn’t ultimately matter, because if you love someone, you will keep going until you find the method. When would you ever stop?
With his lips, William spoke the gospel, but with his actions he taught Gina the same law she already knew. They had nothing to offer that she didn't already have.
Here’s the bottom line. The whole list of reasons
they gave for refusing reconciliation is irrelevant to the fact that God commanded a man to love his wife the way Christ loves us. If she were the dirtiest, nastiest, most immoral woman alive, that commandment of God makes her more worthy of her husband’s love than the sweetest and purest woman who ever lived. It is an imputed worth, given by divine command. Amidst all of her faults her husband had an opportunity to teach her the love that can't be killed: that steady unshakable force that she desperately needed to know.
With reconciliation, you pursue a person. You don’t need to make someone be worthy of your efforts. If you love someone, you treat him as if he is already worthy of your efforts.
A man also should not try to make reconciliation happen by his efforts. Instead he can affirm for his wife that God put them together for His purposes, and, over a period of time, he shows that he really loves her. He makes mistakes, but he is not a mistake. He was meant for her.
We look for different methods to reconcile people,
but salvation does not rest in the methods. Salvation rests in the motivation. The only reason worthy of our efforts is the truth that a person is a gift from God.
The answer is simple. If you want reconciliation, you strive for it. Where there’s a will there’s a way. You might not know what techniques to use, but you know what you love and what you want, and you’ll find it.